We are Becoming the Men we wanted to Marry


Yesterday I read again the quote “We are becoming the men we wanted to marry”.

Thank you Gloria Steinem for your wisdom.

I think I’ve read it a thousand times over but I don’t know why this time her words resonated even more.

Maybe because I believe that I am actively working to find that fulfillment inside of me.

Because I am more focused on what I become as a person than on what may or may not find in the future.

Because I see myself growing everyday, becoming my own definition of what I should aspire to, finding answers and meaning inside of me.

I am not waiting any longer.

I do not find myself incomplete any longer.

I see myself “becoming” and growing and learning and healing as the person that I wanted to be before I was taught to look for a man to find that kind of fulfillment.

And I see that women around me becoming the man they were taught to find as well.

The man they were taught to look up to.

The man they were told to admire.

The man they were told to need.


I see them questioning.

I see them being unapologetic.

I see them as brand new versions of themselves.

I see them destructing imposed ideas and constructing new ways to live and to feel.

I see them creating homes inside themselves.

I see them finding joy and peace and love.

I see them searching for more.

I see them putting their own pieces together.

I see them building brand new phenomenal women.

Constructing bridges between themselves and between others.

Building safe spaces for peace and dialogue and renewal.




I see them creating and embracing new concepts and ideas.

I see them raising their voices for a brighter future.

I see them loving their bodies.

I see them loving their minds.

I see them loving their souls.

I see them as a whole.


They mend their own broken pieces and put them back together with brilliance and hope.

They inspire new ways to think and new ways to operate and function.

And we are those women.


We were taught to find a man.

The one.

We were taught to become creatures that need a man to become complete.

To simply be.

We were taught that our existence was not enough to be whole.

Because we were incomplete.

We were taught that there were some things and tasks that we simply couldn’t do.

Glass Ceilings.

We are breaking each one of those.

We were taught that our ultimate goal in life was to get married and to have kids.

Baby factory.

We were taught that we could never be happy by ourselves, because we were just not enough to deserve that.


But I see women everywhere who focus more on what they can become than on what they can get.


Women who care more about “becoming” than about “finding”, because they are too wise to worry about what they cannot control.

Women who have realized that there is more to life than just “finding a man”.

Women who live to find themselves and to help others finding themselves in the process.

Women who appreciate their own value.

Women who know they are whole, complete and valuable.

Who shine with their own inner light.

By their own right.

I see them as warriors.

I see them as masters of resilience.

Creatures of the extraordinary.


We were told to need, to look for someone, to wait for a man to come and save us.

But we have decided to build instead, we have decided to create instead, we have decided to inspire instead.

We have demanded our right to be whole, the right to be complete, the right to live without any other external validation.

And we are creating.

And we are inspiring.

And we are succeeding. 

We are becoming the men we wanted to marry
— Gloria Steinem
We are Becoming the Men we wanted to Marry